Going through litigation can feel daunting. Whether you’re facing a divorce, custody dispute, or another family law matter, the process can be emotional, time-consuming, and complex. While your attorney will guide you through each stage, there are important steps you can take to make the process more efficient and less stressful. The most successful clients are proactive, organized, and focused on what they can control.

Below are a few key ways you can help yourself — and your attorney — as you prepare for and navigate litigation.

Start Gathering Documents Early and Often

One of the most valuable things you can do is to start to gather and organize relevant documents as soon as possible. Most divorce matters rely heavily on financial and personal records, and obtaining those documents often takes more time than expected. Start with the basics: tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, credit card statements, mortgage or lease documents, and any business records. For some clients, this may also include appraisals, investment statements, or retirement account information. Even when there is no financial component, there tend to be many records that your attorney will need you to provide. Talk to your attorney early in the process to develop a list of documents that you should collect, ways to obtain information that you cannot get easily, and any deadlines that you need to meet.

Having these materials ready early allows your attorney to understand your financial picture and build your case from a position of clarity. It also ensures that you are not scrambling to meet deadlines later in the process. Treat document collection as an ongoing effort. As new statements or information become available, add them to your file, or ask your attorney when and how it would be best to provide updated information. The more complete your records are, the smoother discovery and settlement discussions will be.

Don’t Focus on What the Other Side Has (or Hasn’t) Provided

It’s natural to pay attention to what the other side is doing — or not doing. However, fixating on the opposing party’s cooperation (or lack thereof) can slow down your own progress. Avoid falling into the trap of thinking, “Why should I provide more when they haven’t done their part?”

In any litigation, your best strategy is to stay focused on your own obligations. Continue to produce documents, answer questions, and meet deadlines even if the other side seems to be lagging behind. Courts and judges appreciate parties who act in good faith and meet their responsibilities promptly. If the opposing party fails to do the same, your attorney has tools to address it through formal motions or court intervention.

By maintaining your integrity and focus, you strengthen your position. Being proactive and cooperative not only helps your case but also projects credibility — something that can carry weight in negotiations and court proceedings alike. Your attorney also benefits from having your complete records in order to prepare the best case.

Communicate Proactively and Be Prepared for Meetings

Communication is one of the most important aspects of an effective attorney-client relationship. Litigation often moves in bursts — periods of intense activity followed by quieter stretches. During both, it helps to stay organized and engaged.

Be prepared with questions and keep track of topics you’d like to discuss. Before each meeting or call, jot down key issues you want to cover. This preparation ensures you make the most of your attorney’s time and keeps your case moving forward efficiently.

You can also take initiative by setting a communication schedule that works best for you. Some clients prefer weekly check-ins during active phases of litigation, while others find that monthly updates are enough. Discuss your preferences with your attorney early on. A predictable schedule reduces anxiety and avoids unnecessary calls or emails that can increase costs.

Remember, your attorney works for you. You should feel comfortable asking questions, seeking clarification, and requesting updates. At the same time, organizing your thoughts ahead of time helps ensure your conversations are productive and focused.

Be Mindful of Emotional Boundaries

Family law litigation is deeply personal. It often involves not only financial uncertainty but also profound emotional challenges. It’s natural to feel frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed — but it’s important to remember that your attorney is your legal advocate, not your therapist.

Attorneys understand the human side of these cases, and part of their role is to listen and support you as you make decisions. But relying on your attorney for emotional counseling can be costly and counterproductive. Every hour spent processing emotions in a legal meeting is time billed at a legal rate — and it doesn’t necessarily advance your case or provide the best therapeutic outcome.

Instead, consider building a support network that includes friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you process the emotional aspects of litigation. By separating the emotional from the legal, you’ll be able to make clearer, more strategic decisions.

Focus on What You Can Control

Litigation often feels unpredictable. You can’t control the other side’s behavior, the pace of the court system, or every outcome. What you can control is your preparation, your responsiveness, and your attitude. By approaching litigation with a mindset of readiness and professionalism, you give yourself the best chance of achieving a favorable resolution.

Take ownership of the parts of the process that are within your reach: gather documents, communicate thoughtfully, stay organized, and seek emotional balance outside the legal process. Clients who do these things tend to feel less overwhelmed — and their cases tend to progress more smoothly.

Litigation will always have its challenges, but preparation and collaboration with your attorney can make a world of difference. When clients take initiative, stay focused, and maintain open communication, the entire process becomes more manageable. Working as an active partner with your attorney not only saves time and resources but also leads to stronger outcomes and greater peace of mind.

This article is for informational purposes only and does not contain or convey legal advice. The information herein should not be relied upon for legal decisions. For advice on your specific situation, please contact Jennifer McCammon at (703) 526-5591 or jmccammon@beankinney.com.